There he was, with a white blonde bird’s nest on his head, breathing heavily and looking battered. He was leaning against the cold stone wall, taking a deep breath.
I must’ve been crazy for asking about a time turner…
Professor McGonagall offered Scorpius this time-play about a week ago. She has turned into a great aged witch, having eagle eyes though. She wasn’t really thrilled about Scorpius express quest for asking the administration about a time turner, because it hadn’t worked last time. Though knowing about the risk, she has nodded after longer objections.
That wasn’t enough! Scorpius had to care for these first graders due to his duties as prefect. He couldn’t be more pressed for time. The blonde boy shook his head. He didn’t want to think a tiny minute about that alp of homework he still had to do.
No, no!
He wasn’t a lazy student. Things went good for him, especially last year. Scorpius has beaded Rose in five classes so he wouldn’t give in now and just watch that girl being better than him. Little, had he grinned about this fact.
At a sudden, he felt chilly. Wind was wandering through the opened window, tenderly tousling his hair. Scorpius groaned slightly cheesed off, wrapping the silver-blue fascinated scarf around his head. Winter has arrived at Hogwarts. Scorpius was caught watching the last leaves flying with bitter-cold wind, when he jerked.
»Oh my! The prefect meeting! But I’ve double classes with Professor Slughorn. We’re learning the Armortentia one. That’ll be in my exams. I just cannot miss it. «


[size=18]
Tick tock, try to stop the forward motion
All heads tend to fall behind
Wasted whethers of the wish cut steeper
Is always running out of time
Always running out of time


Oh my… this could’ve happened only to him!
Scorpius started feeling quite strained.
He shifted from one foot to another, not knowing what to do. Not wanting to use the time turner too many times, he still had no clue how to solve his problem. He promised McGonagall to be careful in playing with time, it was dangerous.
Scorpius knew about the risk.
He started walking in a circle, flapping his forehead with his palm. Stress was sending shivers down his spine so Scorpius caught his hands, hiding his trembling hands under his dark cloak.
He almost cried.
He just couldn’t fail, not wanting to be a loser in his father’s mind since he has complimented his son for doing well at school. Scorpius was always yearning for a smile of Draco since he’d become quiet.
If he had to drop being a prefect, Scorpius knew his father would continue on being like a hermit crab. Only moving out of water, because he was curious what he’d be able to see and too shy for staying in Scorpius reach.
Why? He didn’t look like a normal teenager anymore. He had transformed into a ghost, as pale as a bed sheet, almost invisible. He has been becoming less and less for four years now. He didn’t mind.
His plans were just always out of time.
Footsteps… coming closer…
Scorpius turned around, looking in the eyes of a schoolmate. He briefly talked to him, only knowing him by sight. Lysander was kind of much-loved and kind, so why wouldn’t he do Scorpius a favor? He could ask for it at least…
» Uhm… hello Lovegood. «
Scorpius flushed. Damn. There was that awkward flaw about him being shy and incapable of talking to others in his age without acting like an idiot. Great...
Plus, he couldn’t remember the boy’s first name, because it wasn’t commonly used calling a schoolmate you hardly knew by his first name. Oh dragonshit, he couldn’t move on asking that Lovegood boy if he’d take notices for Scorpius. He shouldn’t be that surly odd bird he has been for years now...
Scorpius gulped, still hiding his hands under his cloak. He lost heart.
»Uhm… could you… would you… «
Wonderful! He was stuttering like a brainless gremlin. Oh Scorpius, you little slug! As if that wouldn’t be enough embarrassment for one single life to carry on, his book bag, fully laden with those heavy books was ripping off on its seam.
All his schoolbooks, Arithmancy, charm, care for magical creatures, potions, transfiguration, muggle study and so on were lying at his feet. Scorpius felt the heat on his cheeks, quietly wishing for becoming invisible. However, he kneeled down and began collecting his things. Okay, now or never! He didn’t have to look Lysander in the eyes or speaking directly to him either.
» Uhm… I wondered if you could inform Professor Slughorn about my absence in his class, because I’ve lot to do and I should be at the prefect meeting now…«
No, no, no! Just no! There was absolutely no point in asking him about taking notices for him so he wouldn’t miss a thing they’d learn today. He had to ask Professor Slughorn directly. Of course he wouldn’t deny his request; he was a star pupil, one of his dears. Scorpius felt quite unwell by thinking about that though.


Always running out of time
Always running out of time
Always running out of time

[/size]

Scorpius eyes were closed for a silent minute.
He took a deep breath without moving any centimeter. Looking someone in the eye…
He hadn't been close to anyone, so he just wasn’t used to it at all. Scorpius stared as if being a discoverer. Why on earth was this guy looking at him with this gleam of understanding in his gaze? He almost felt paralyzed by the upcoming heath. In fact, Lovegood didn’t understand at all. He never showed feelings. Humans should have. But Scorpius almost never did. Scorpius just hardly looked to him, his eyes flicking from the books to Lysander, though every aspect of his body language breathed animosity towards this guy.
Scorpius hated feeling like a naïve sheep, wanting to hug the wolf. Apparently, wasn’t he. Though feeling those various types of emotions at the same time, his face was like pale porcelain – not making a single movement with his mouth corners in order to show what he thought about Lovegood.
Scorpius frowned. He felt the bitter-cold wind tousling through his hair,
but the cold couldn’t cast out its red spots of endless embarrassment.
Having destroyed an image of never messing up with words, he felt like shrinking about ninety centimeter.
» Well… thank you. «
When looking at Lovegood again, he felt like the eye of the storm although he did not give any evidences. Stroking back a few white blonde hair strands, noticing the halfhearted smile of Lovegood to lighten him up, he had the strange urge to narrow his eyes.
‘God, stop it. I won’t call anyone by its first name and I won’t begin with you. Just shut up and take notes for me. Nothing more or less.’
»I better get going now. I’ll collect the notes later, okay? I am sure they’ll be good. «
Turning around and leaving without adding anything to its words, he felt like a dumb little boy who didn’t know the slightest about humans. In fact, did he not. Scorpius moved forwards, quickening his pace. His lungs were burning and it felt like they were almost bursting.
What a blessing, he thought, that I am a Malfoy. He had been taught to extract his own advantages from relationships and then disappearing without leaving any traces as if he’d never been close to people.
Coming close to people is like catching butterflies, Draco had said, and Scorpius always remembered about his father’s advice.
He only had to catch them with its black finely woven web. Having no use anymore for him, Scorpius watched them flying away.
»You’re late. «
» I am really sorry, Amanda. «
The girl waved at him, opening the door behind her back and entered the Great Hall with her head held high.
» Same rules, same time – as for you. If you come late again, I’ll speak to Professor McGonagall. «
Scorpius lost his face. Nothing had smitten him, nothing had even bothered him much, but his facial features, always looking fixed, derailed.
»You can’t…«
»Of course I can, I am the head girl. Don’t lord over now and sit down. «
She glared at him, pointing out to the last free chair. Scorpius sighed, trying to calm his heart.

[…]
Time went by faster than he thought. He had been sitting and listening to Amandas word without adding anything to it. For some reason, Scorpius had had the strange feeling that the other prefects were watching him the whole time, but he couldn’t be sure – and it hadn’t been bad at all, but he felt misguided.
Scorpius had betokened himself as fast as he could. There he was now, sitting on a window sill, watching the sun playing hide-and seek with the mountain she hid behind.
His cheeks were smoldering red, creating a strange contrast to his pale skin. Scorpius pulled up his knees and rested his chin on them, thinking about the time-play he has been involved in for a week.
Tip.Tip.Tip. Charlie’s paws felt like raindrops falling down from heaven. Charlie, Scorpius little rat. He was letting out a scream of surprise when Charlie managed to crawl onto his shoulder. Scorpius felt his whiskers stroking along his neck.
Looking at his watch, Scorpius frowned. This Lovegood-boy had some essential notes he needed for his NEWT’s exams. Scorpius took Charlie, squealing with glee, putting him back into the pocket.
Boy, didn’t he like him much. Scorpius never liked people much, but that Lovegood boy – he had already forgotten its first name, because he didn’t want to remember at all – was those types of people he almost enjoyed not liking. What a hideous shirt he’d been dressing on. Quidditch. Scorpius made a grimace. He’d never been a sport loving bloke – sitting on a broomstick wasn’t fun, it was a torture AND quite uncomfortable.
Scorpius headed back to the highest tower of Hogwarts; the Ravenclaw common room, almost hitting the skyline. At least he hadn’t to go to the dungeons. He didn’t want to even think about Slytherin. He was sorted into Ravenclaw, although everyone associated Slytherin with the Malfoy name. Scorpius fastened his pace, stopping after he finally arrived.

He sat down at the bottom of the common room, listening to the hissing flames growing and growing. He placed a book on his lap, flipping it open. When he felt the words getting into his mind, he smiled like the Cheshire cat. Scorpius didn’t take Lovegoods books, because people never did anything without wanting something in return and by no means would be play those kinds of games. After a few hours went by, the blonde boy looked at his watch, watching the clock hands moving. Where on earth was this guy? He knew that Lovegood wasn’t at the top of students, but he wasn’t bad either and he also was sure about one thing; Lovegood had less subjects than him so where he was?
»The dark lord came to die. «

Hearing the words smashing against the walls of the huge common room, Scorpius glanced over his shoulder, making no movement but not without keeping an eye on his books, wanting to go upstairs, to his dorm.
Scorpius remembered. He wasn’t a robot, vulnerable, wretched and the reincarnation of Voldemort. Ooh, fuck.
He heard the boy slandering towards to him and then stopped. Scorpius continued on scribbling lines down, filling the parchment with words.
»What is your father doing at the moment? Advancing an army of bleeding idiots? «
‘Dear GOD, please open a hole and let me fall in so I won’t make any sound anymore. Okay?’
At a sudden, Scorpius recognized that he was punished by this guy.
»Look to me if I’m speaking to you! «
‘That’s enough!’
Scorpius stood up, collecting his books, racing up the stairs to his dorm.
It was always the same. Each day, each week, each year. It had not been easy for the Malfoy family after War. His father’s mother and father and his grandma and grandpa had been sentenced to imprisonment in Azkaban for ten years. His father struggled to find work and so would Scorpius. No matter how much he would learn, he was an outcast for most of the society. Scorpius shook the head, throwing his books upon his bed, sitting down at the edge of it.
‘ I don’t want to cry over spilt milk. It’s not that bad, it only sounded worse than it actually was. My father had come to terms with it at last, so Iwant to accept it, too.’
»Lovegood! Don’t keep me waiting for so long. I am done with my homework, already written a summary of Professor Flit wick’s last lesson. Goddam Nargle seeker. Goddamn Lovegood-whatever, goddamn bloke, goddamn stupid Quidditch fan! « By no means would he go to this boy, speaking a second time to him. Twice was enough - by far!

It had gotten colder during the day and night had arrived. Scorpius was looking out oft he opened window, propped up his head on his arms.
The skyline was as black as coal, almost no flying spot could be seen, only the moon was showing its bright face. Scorpius wondered if a silent night felt always like this, in fact like a heavy strain. What else was he supposed to think of? He’d been tossing and turning for hours, loudly keeping an eye on the clock with its red neon numbers so he’d decided to sit on the window sill without making a sound.
His eyes were swollen and puffy; even looking around was too painful so Scorpius could not read what he used to do late at night when he felt unsatisfied and unworthy.
Just like now. His heart was always pulling him down with wet cheeks.
There was nothing he could do about it!
Oneness was one’s biggest fear and longing.

Why was he putting on this? He only had to drop few subjects, and, in the end, it didn’t matter at all. There was still a huge chance to beat Weaslette in almost each class. But how would father look like then? His father had been so proud of him. Well, he still was…, Scorpius guessed so at the very least, but he couldn’t be sure.
Oh, how Draco had been smiling when Scorpius had shown him his badge.
For a moment. At a sudden, his heart hurted. Scorpius hands grasped his chest, wondering why his mind was filling with colorful and vivid pictures of blurred, plain old memories.
Though feeling the pain, his mouth corners flashed a weak smile.
He wanted to keep safe those precious moments that were no longer appealing to reality.
He missed those good old days; in fact, he only wanted to see this smile again.
This was the only reason why he was tearing himself apart, doing homework as if
being a bookworm literally.
Scorpius was jerking when he felt the wetness. Was he crying? He hadn’t notice at all . . . until now.
However, there was a place into his head to burst into tears and it was filling in.
He didn’t want to appeal weak. How old was he? Eleven years old? There was absolutely no point in crying!
In the end, Malfoy was just a popular name with a bloody and bleak history behind.
He had not done anything to be noticed yet. It was always just Malfoy, the son of the death eater and Draco Malfoy, who had made all the wrong choices during War.
“He hadn’t had a choice at all.
None would have been able to understand him. But I do. I was a hat stall…”
He couldn’t blink the tears away any longer. Scorpius covered his mouth with his left hand, about to cry.
Warm, wet but warm tears were running down his cheeks, covering them with its delicate soddenness.
He’d shaken like a leaf before, but somehow . . .
The taste of the salty teardrops somehow lightened him up. Moonlight was shining down on to his face when Scorpius decided to go back to bed. Jumping off the tower of sorrow, he slipped under the blanket and pulled it to his chin.
Actually, he himself was the reason why no one would think of him if someone asked who the kindest prefect at Hogwarts was. Admittedly – and it took lots of self confidence to figure this truth out – he wasn’t a twit at all. Scorpius only had a serious trust issue. People always wanted something in return and no one was a pure altruist. In a way, each human being is related to the typical Slytherin traits.
But he wasn’t going to play those dirty mind plays. He refused to do so.
When Scorpius fell asleep, the sun had already shown its yellow gown of bright rays.

II.
“ What the hell has Lovegood to do with this piece of shit?!”
“ Bro, I dunno. Let’s ask him.”
“good idea.”
Scorpius had woken up before, but he pretended to be still sleeping. He was still laying in bed, eyes squeezed firmly shut. Secretly, he thought about holding his breath when Christopher shouted him into his right ear.
Scorpius wanted to give up and was about to get off the bed.
But he didn’t had to, because Christopher grabbed Scorpius by the scruff of his neck, dumping him to the stone floor.
Red? Scorpius realized that his lip must’ve been splinted somehow.
“What do you have to do with Lysander?”
Scorpius didn’t hesitate. Christopher had few patience and by no means would he want to incur his wrath. Scorpius held his breath, focusing on the sound of movements before he responded. But there was no sound pricking to his ears. It was just silent.
“Nothing at all. However, as you two may have noticed, we are in the same house. Nothing more or less.”
“Are you trying to lie to us? You know what happens with people that are in touch with you, don’t you?
You’re just a son of a bitch. You aren’t worth it to be taught at all.”
“And still, my grades are better three times as much than yours.”
He shouldn’t have said that. At a sudden, Christopher lugged him so that Scorpius exhaled a surprised scream.
“so Lysander is your friend then?”
“What? No, not at all. He is not related to me in any way. He does not like me as much as you two do.”
“Ouuuw… poor Malfoy boy. Explain yourself, you worthless pureblood. “
He waved with the notes that Lysander had taken for him. Scorpius could even recognize he had bookmarked the sides they’d been working with during potion class.
What was that? A… sweet… but Scorpius could not figure out what it was, because he felt dizzy.
“He did a favor to me. That is all.”
“What favor?”
Scorpius furrowed his brow, trying to stay calm and relaxed. Wasn’t this ape man able to think logical? He could figure out himself but he shook his head instead of laughing at him. That could’ve ended worse.
“I had not had the time to go to potion class and I asked him if he could take notes for me.”
Whitby dumped him and Scorpius trailed away, not be able to cry. He wouldn’t cry though he was suffering. It didn’t matter much as long as he managed to keep the weakness away.
Looking at him again, Whitby was grinning like the Cheshire cat, slightly amused while his eyes were looking predatory. Scorpius picked himself up when Whitby and his friend (he’d forgotten his name) had already reached the door.
“Well then, I think Lovegood is meeting my fist then.”
“Leave him alone!”
By Merlins sake, he shouldn’t have asked Lovegood to do him this goddamn favor. He now was the center of Christopher’s attention which meant trouble. Scorpius did notice that Lysander was well built since he played Quidditch, but everyone was afraid of Whitby’s anger. He didn’t want Lysander to get hurt just because he’d spoken with him. This cruelty was almost as sad as a depressed father to Scorpius. He was not able to carry this heavy cross all alone. One boy couldn’t stand the idea of being the reason why someone was hurt either. . .
Neither did one boy wanted to be the trigger for hematoma so Scorpius took a deep breath, once, twice. . .
“Will you leave him alone if you hit me harder than usual instead?”
Scorpius stomach was squirming and his whole body suddenly went numb, unable to escape, to run, to… the boy was not able to think straight anymore.
“This sounds like fun, doesn’t it Nathan?”
“uh, no. This is totally brilliant – for the beginning…”

III.

Where had the time gone? Scorpius was walking swiftly through the corridor to be on time for charm class. It hadn’t been as bad as he thought at first. It had felt as though Scorpius’s insides had turned into ice; breakable, but they hadn’t managed to break him. At some point, his knees were used to be like jelly but still… he felt quite… neutral. Also, the fear had drained out of him. All he was feeling right now was a stinging pain because of the burst lip, the small scratch on his cheek and the pulsating black eye.
Scorpius saw a crowd that had gathered in front of the door to charm class.
“Oi, Scorpius what has happened?”
“Quidditch”, Scorpius lied.
“ So you’re playing Quidditch, aren’t you?”

Not this Lovegood guy again, Scorpius thought quietly. He didn’t like it to watch people entering his life twice; once was by far enough so it didn’t matter if Scorpius had opened the door or the door had been opened by anyone else, the outcome had always been the same; he was alone.
Nobody would find delight in Scorpius’s character. Nobody would ever think of him as a caring person since his father had made all the wrong choices and Scorpius had to pay for that blah blah blah . . . that sort of pathetic chit-chat. Seriously, what was this relationship crap all about?
‘I like one because of one’s sense of humor and I might hope that one finds me amusing, too but basically what I care about is the laughter I get from hanging out with one. This is hypocritical and surficial I don’t need that…’

Before Scorpius knew it, a blonde twister had grabbed his arm and pulled him aside. Away from the loud crowd making jokes about his injuries.
“Do you play Quidditch?”
“Lysan-“
“No, you’re wrong. I am Lysander, his twin brother and – oh how dumb!”
The twin flapped his forehead, narrowing the eyes and reached out his hands, grinning like a twelve year old toddler who’d just caught the snitch for the first time.
“May I introduce myself? I am Lorcan Newt Scamander, the son of Rolf and Luna nee Lovegood Scamander. Besides, I am Lysander’s twin brother. Sadly, I am three seconds younger than him.”
This fellow was weird. Not weird in a lovely way… weird in a very odd way… Like mother like son, Scorpius thought secretly, because Lorcan was familiar to Luna by all means; he had those protuberant eyes that gave him a permanently surprised look though this glance was a bit calmer and collect with a rather charming presence than this dottiness Luna had.
“I am the seeker of the Quidditch team and their captain, too.”
Scorpius brain seemed to had had jammed during Lorcan spoke. He was totally paralyzed so that he even shook his hand without realizing.
This fellow was looking like as if being happy was something to eat, a drug or something. Wait. . . he might have taken some pills to increase his mood. . . Scorpius shook the head. No way, this was an attitude, the Lovegood gene or whatever it was; these watery eyes with its happiness within were flickering from their hands to Scorpius’ face. Lorcan smiled lightly.
“Oh, sorry I… uhm… I played Quidditch for quite a long time but now I am not interested in this kind of stuff anymore. “
“You’re right. Your roommates are always complaining that you never watch a game. They say it’s not normal not to be interested in Quidditch as a boy.”
“Well… I do not want to chat with you so…-“
-“ Really? Does this sound like a chat? I am really sorry; I just wanted to ask you a question.”
“go ahead then and leave me alone afterwards”
“At which position did you play?”
“beater, why are you asking?”
“Oh Merlin, the Smashwurglar has granted me my wish! We are looking for a beater. Just as a replacement because our Chang is currently at ST. Mungos, dragon-pox, but he is okay.”
Scorpius furrowed his brow. Though being an very analytic and logic thinker, he still could not figure out why Lorcan was trying to imply with these words. To him, it was a variation of gibberish.
“Well therefore, it would be totally bad to lose the opening game against Slytherin like last year.”
“I suppose you’re too bad as a seeker then.”
“You do know that they’re playing unfair.”
“yeah, yeah, yeah. Well then. Who’s the other beater?”
Again, this wide smile all over his face . . . it was terrifying.
“My brother.”
Scorpius only shook the head, digging his shaking hands into his pockets.
Ly…san…der… ( This could’ve been the name Whitby had used...) would not be amused to play with a Malfoy just like the rest of the Quidditch team. This Lorc- whatever didn’t even see him playing and wanted him as a replacement for Chang nevertheless? Was he too lazy? This was really not Scorpius business. If he was too lazy to choose one properly, he could not have cared less.
“Our opening game is at the end of the week and I just do not have the time for organizing some choosing games. Besides, I am also busy with school and I’ve already seen you flying. Your reflexes are terrific!”
Now Scorpius was looking as if Lorcan was going to explain to him where the babies came from so he stared at him with widened eyes and his mouth was strangely dry all of a sudden.
“Don’t you remember? You had to catch these Kibinkies for Professor Longbottom and because they’ve got badger like cocoons, you asked me to lend the racket and I decided to watch you doing this.”
“Forget it.”
Lovegood took a step away from Scorpius, but something else had changed though he could not actually what. He chuckled in a manner Scorpius had never heard before, but it didn’t sound good at all.
“So it is true what they are saying? You’ve always liked Slytherin better than Ravenclaw that you’re a hypocritical ass who’s throwing daddy’s money out of the window? A typical Slytherin who is proud of being a pureblood? An aristocrat who cares more about plain old family traditions than about any other, I don’t know, important things?”
These words were the right ones to make Scorpius change his mind.
“Okay, I am doing it.”
The wide smile and the calm and friendly expression had flashed his face again. Lovegood knew that he had to say this in order to have Scorpius where he was now.

IV.

Scorpius was furiously scribbling notes, hanging on every word Professor McGonagall. Just because he wanted to beat Weaslette, with whom he’d engaged in a silent battle of marks.
Charms was not Weasley’s best subject. Last year OWL’S proved that. It was the only subject she hadn’t achieved an O. Scorpius felt quite confident about this fact, to be honest.
Hold on, he thought. I’ve already read this chapter. It is not really important for me.
Scorpius had dropped a few lines for Lysander since he was quite grateful for those magnificent notes! In fact, Lovegood was not dense at all. Of course, he was far away from being at the top of the class just like Rose and himself but still… he was doing well at school ever since.


Hey Lovegood,
thanks for taking notes for me.
I am really grateful for that.
PS: I totally enjoyed those sweets, it was delicious so thank you!
Malfoy

Whitby and his friends didn’t managed to get an OWL in charms but in divination instead ( the only subject Scorpius had ever gotten a ‘T’. ) so there was no risk at all, he had not to worry about Lysander being pushed around because he’d talk to him and such. . .
His stomach was growling when he carefully folded the letter, tipping it with the top of his wand.
The letter hovered through the classroom until it landed on Lovegood’s table.
( and he was sure that it was Lysander.)
The rest of this lessen had been like it always had been;
Scorpius and Rose had been trying to stab one another with their big brains,
excellent skills and knowledge, while a lot of the class had been more interested in lunch than in class.

V.

It was really cold. The storm was blowing and the other Quidditch players were walking next to each other. Scorpius felt almost sorry for them if they often had to play under such conditions. Lorcan seemed to be unrelenting in this case since the day had been gone and darkness, coldness and night arrived.
The stares were shining high above into this mess of a jet black skyline.
“Sooo… Are you thrilled Scorpius? What about you, beloved brother?”
Scorpius was about to narrow his eyes but he jerked when Lorcan exclaimed a surprised scream.
“ Oh, haven’t I told you that our replace for Chang is Scorpius? I hope you’ll be okay with that because it is rrrreaally not my business, okay? Fine then.”
Lorcan rolled the ‘r’ as long as he could and his whole pronunciation was focused on this alphabetic character.
After having said this, Lorcan maundered towards the Quidditch field, humming a disharmonic melody – odd – so it was that odd that it actually seemed quite normal if he thought about it. Well, in ordinary terms, it would have been extraordinary, but – Scorpius, screw this! You’re just talking to yourself because you’re feeling uncomfortable, nervous and whatever I am feeling.
Scorpius thought about the numb- and oneness he felt any other time, cold and indifferent… however, right now, into a crowd, he could feel though he didn’t know what he could feel exactly – but it was certainly better than nothing.